Let's talk low libido

Libido includes interest, sexual arousal, emotional closeness, and sexual satisfaction, which are all core components of female sexual function and overall sexual health. These elements rise and fall naturally across menstrual cycles, life transitions, and changing stress levels because the body prioritizes energy, safety, and well-being. Short-term drops in sexual desire are common among many women, and they often improve as sleep, stress, physical comfort, emotional health, and other lifestyle factors improve.

Why has my libido decreased?

“What we’re shown is entertainment, not a realistic reflection of how desire actually works in real life.” Real desire is shaped by real life, not a scriptwriter’s fantasy. “There is no normal amount of sex you should be having, and your libido will look different to everyone else.” That matters, because so many women label themselves broken when their libido fluctuates. “I speak with women all the time who constantly refer to their bodies as ‘broken’ if they don’t want sex as much as their partner or if their libido fluctuates from month to month or even feels like it's non-existent,” April says. But libido is context-dependent, not character-defining. “Desire is far more complex and context-dependent than most of us were ever taught; it’s shaped by stress, hormones, relationships, and how safe and connected we feel in our bodies.” If your libido has gone quiet, you don’t need to panic or perform.

Am I Normal: There's Pain During Sex

Low libido in women is often a sign that your body is under strain. The goal isn’t to make yourself want sex, it’s to create the conditions where desire can return naturally. Here are some practical and tangible places to start: Protect your sleep like it’s part of your libido plan. Aim for consistent bed and wake times, and prioritise wind-down time so your nervous system actually gets the message it’s safe to rest. Protect your sleep like it’s part of your libido plan.

7. Discuss Contraception and Sexual Life with a Healthcare Professional

Lower your stress load in small, real ways. Think short walks, breathwork, a phone-free ten minutes, or anything that brings you out of “on” mode. Stabilise blood sugar to support energy and mood. Build meals around protein, fibre and healthy fats, and avoid running on caffeine and chaos (tempting, but not libido-friendly). Check in on hormones if things feel noticeably different. If low libido becomes persistent or starts to feel distressing, the next step is not self-blame. A persistent change can be a helpful clue that physical health, mental health, medications, or relationship factors deserve a closer look. Estrogen and testosterone both play roles in women’s sexual health, sexual arousal, and genital blood flow, influencing comfort, sensitivity, and desire.

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When estrogen levels drop, such as during perimenopause or menopause, vaginal tissues can become thinner and drier. During postpartum recovery, especially while breastfeeding, lower estrogen levels can also contribute to vaginal dryness and sensitivity.

• A Mediterranean diet supports overall hormonal health and sexual function.
• Take evening primrose oil to help balance hormones and improve libido.
• Reduce chronic stress through hobbies, socializing, and relaxing activities.
• Ensure adequate vitamin D levels, which are linked to libido and sexual health.
• Practice deep breathing exercises to increase blood flow and arousal.
• Limit exposure to environmental toxins that may interfere with hormones.
• Consider natural libido-enhancing herbs after consulting a healthcare provider.

Vaginal dryness and creams for erectile dysfunction painful intercourse can make sex uncomfortable, so it makes sense when desire drops in response.

Natural performance boosters

Many women notice changes in sex drive during specific life stages, such as postpartum recovery, prolonged periods of stress, perimenopause, or menopause. These changes are common and expected because libido responds to sleep, energy levels, emotional load, physical comfort, and hormonal balance. Understanding how libido works, and what truly supports women’s sexual health, allows women to make informed, compassionate choices about their bodies. A healthy libido is not defined by frequency or performance. A healthy libido is about comfort, connection, and sexual satisfaction within a woman’s own life, relationships, and values. Hormonal birth control can also influence libido for some women by altering hormone balance, particularly in premenopausal women, though responses vary widely. These effects vary widely, and they depend on factors like individual biology, dosage, and overall health history.

• Regular sexual activity can help maintain and increase desire over time.
• Maintain a positive body image through self-acceptance and grooming.
• Explore sensual media like romantic movies or literature to stimulate arousal.
• Use biofeedback techniques to become more aware of physical responses.
• Stay physically active to improve circulation, energy, and enthusiasm.
• Watch for signs of hormonal imbalance and seek treatment if needed.
• Cultivate emotional intimacy with your partner to strengthen sexual desire.

Ongoing stress raises cortisol levels, which can interfere with sexual arousal, emotional presence, and genital blood flow, a relationship observed in clinical and physiological research on stress and sexual response.

Improving Arousal

With a solid black book of trusted contacts (including some of the industry’s leading experts) she’s committed to creating accessible, well-informed content that empowers and inspires Healf readers. What drives libido in women and why sex drive isn’t always the right phrase Desire vs arousal: Why low libido can feel confusing but totally normal The biology of libido in women: hormones, brain chemistry and stress What actually helps increase sex drive in women Supplements for female libido: what’s worth it and what’s mostly marketing How to actually increase libido in women: Expert top tips Low sex drive in women is common and often reflects physical health, emotional well-being, hormones, stress, and relationship factors, not willpower or failure. Sexual desire involves arousal, emotional connection, comfort, and overall sexual satisfaction, all of which can change across life stages. Hormonal shifts, stress, medications, medical conditions, and emotional or relationship concerns are common reasons libido may drop. Lifestyle changes such as regular exercise, balanced nutrition, adequate sleep, stress management, and emotional connection can naturally support a healthy libido.

Understanding Your Arousal

Persistent low libido that causes personal distress, painful sex, vaginal dryness, or fatigue may signal an underlying health issue worth evaluating. Primary care can help by looking at the full picture, including physical health, mental health, medications, and lifestyle, and supporting personalized next steps. Sexual desire in women reflects physical health, emotional well-being, hormones, relationships, and daily stressors and not just willpower or motivation alone. Sexual desire, sex drive, and libido are often used interchangeably, and many women experience periods of low sexual desire at different points in life. If sex drive feels lower than usual, many women worry that something is “wrong.” In reality, libido often shifts when the body or mind is carrying more: whether that is stress, fatigue, discomfort, or a change in hormones. Mental load, caregiving responsibilities, work pressure, and relationship strain commonly affect women’s sex drive, even when attraction and intimacy are still present. Stress-related low desire is not a personal failing. Stress-related low desire is the nervous system doing its job, prioritizing survival and recovery when life feels demanding. Thyroid disorders, diabetes, high blood pressure, chronic pain, mood disorders, liver disorders, and other underlying health conditions can influence sexual function, energy levels, and overall women’s health. Women taking antidepressants may notice changes in libido, arousal, sexual satisfaction, or other sexual concerns, which can sometimes be addressed through medication review.

Hormone	Role in Libido	Common Imbalances	Treatment Options
Estrogen	Maintains vaginal lubrication, desire	Low levels post-menopause	Hormone replacement therapy
Testosterone	Boosts sexual desire	Low levels in women	Hormone therapy, supplements
Progesterone	Regulates menstrual cycle	Imbalances during menopause	Hormonal treatment
DHEA	Precursor to sex hormones	Deficiency can reduce libido	Supplements, medical evaluation

Some medications affect blood flow, nerve signaling, or hormone balance. Reviewing medications with a primary care provider can help determine whether adjustments or alternatives should be considered. Relationship stress, unresolved conflict, body image concerns, and low self-esteem can reduce sexual intimacy and responsiveness. Desire often improves when emotional needs are acknowledged, communication feels safer, and pressure is reduced. Libido is closely linked to emotional well-being, not just physical readiness for a sexual encounter. Feeling emotionally safe and supported often makes it easier for desire to show up. Exercise increases blood flow throughout the body, including genital tissues, which supports sexual arousal, genital arousal, and physical responsiveness. Exercise improves sexual function by supporting circulation, mood, and energy. Aerobic activity supports cardiovascular health and stamina, while strength training and pelvic floor exercises help maintain muscle tone and support sexual function.

Food Item	Rich in	Benefits
Avocados	Healthy fats, vitamin E	Hormone production, blood flow
Dark Chocolate	Phenylethylamine, magnesium	Mood booster, increased desire
Oysters	Zinc	Hormone synthesis
Watermelon	Citrulline	Improves blood flow

Mind-body movement such as yoga or Pilates supports nervous system regulation and body awareness.

Factor	Effect on Libido	Suggested Interventions
Body Image Concerns	Decreases desire	Counseling, self-esteem building
Relationship Satisfaction	Strongly correlates with desire	Couples therapy
Depression	Often reduces libido	Antidepressants, therapy
Anxiety	Impairs sexual arousal	Relaxation techniques, therapy

These forms of movement can help women feel more present and comfortable in their bodies, which often enhances sexual satisfaction.

Introducing Bioidentical Hormone Replacement Therapy (BHRT)

If you’re experiencing symptoms alongside low desire (like fatigue, cycle changes, mood shifts, vaginal dryness) speak to a healthcare provider about hormone and thyroid support. Don’t ignore pain or discomfort during sex. Pain isn’t something to push through. If sex feels uncomfortable, address the cause first (it’s one of the fastest ways to rebuild safety in the body). Take “sex” off the table sometimes and focus on connection, touch and closeness without a goal.

French Maritime Pine Bark Extract

Desire often returns when it’s not being demanded. Have an honest conversation about what you actually want. If you’re partnered, talk about needs, boundaries, timing and what feels good now… not what used to work. A coach or therapist can help unpack emotional blocks, relationship dynamics, or past experiences that may be quietly switching desire off. This article is for informational purposes only, even if and regardless of whether it features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners.

Exercise improves libido through blood flow and mood

This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice. The views expressed in this article are the views of the expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Healf Samantha Nice is a seasoned wellness writer with over a decade of experience crafting content for a diverse range of global brands. A passionate advocate for holistic wellbeing, she brings a particular focus to supplements, women’s health, strength training, and running. Samantha is a proud member of the Healf editorial team, where she merges her love for storytelling with industry insights and science-backed evidence. An avid WHOOP wearer, keen runner (with a sub 1:30 half marathon) hot yoga enthusiast and regular gym goer, Samantha lives and breathes blue tablets the wellness lifestyle she writes about.